A Drunk Doll’s Dream!

My doll is broken,

The collection of 579 dolls since I was tiny are now broken,

The hair of each doll have fallen off, and so have been their plastic hearts ripped off,

The eyes wont slitter anymore, nor do they look pretty,

They used to dream with me all night and each doll had about a 1000 dreams which means that 576000 dreams are now lost which means lost of every emotion, every fear , every delicate moment of life….

 

My dad’s doll is broken too,

There is not much difference,

The heart of my dad’s doll is chucked out and a huge chunk of it has been fed to the street dogs,

The eyes of my dad’s doll won’t shut for a second,

The dreams of my dad’s doll are only horror,

The fits are for real,

The body of my dad’s doll is sweating all the time,

And “it” looks ugly as f***,

The story of my dad’s doll is far more painful because its a real person. “It” is ME!

“It” was assaulted as a kid all along and there was no one to burry her pain apart, no one whom “it” could tell on how her own close relations would eat her up. “It” was literally treated like a doll, a non-living toy to play with, just that “it” had pretty hair and the flickering flaunting eyes.

Today “it” is found in a garbage can two blocks from here full of dirt from the rains, and the only thing still talking is “it’s” eyes, the open-eyes that are stuck at a point for days, no movement anywhere,

Some liked “it’s” clothes, so they took them, some liked “it’s” jewelry, so some people took that,  some liked “it’s” hair bands, so they took it , some liked “it’s” shoes, so they even took that but no one liked “it’s” heart. No one! No one liked “it’s” soul!!! No one liked “it’s” dreams.

All thought that “it” was drunk! Wasted!! Hammered!!!! But was “it” really ? Yeah “it” was. High on love of the long lost lover. The wait ate “it” all up.

The one and only dream “it” always had locked up in her eyes was of “it’s” masculine owner, it never knew that he would just play with “it” and let go when done.. How strong do you think “it” could’ve been in all this ????? “It” kept on longing for the love of the owner 24*7, 365 days in and out all the time, but all “it” was treated as just another toy.

Its him who has thrown him out to garbage now. “It” now stinks all what and the frustration in “it’s” dreams are only boiling up by the second… “It” was never drunk! “It” was just wanting a dream to come true. A dream of life! A dream of mankind. A dream of love! Was it too much to ask for ????

”It” gave in possibly everything “it” could have all what without thinking twice, not about her own self for once , none at all . Yes . Yes “it” looks so high now of sorrow , It’s like “it’s” already placed perfectly well in the grave but there is still no peace . Yes she throws up every now and then probably “it’S” way too wasted .: Even the grave is full of dirt now .

Finding you is actually like trying to come back to life right after death . It really is that tough right at this moment . Its making me sick! In no time I really might quit this full of shit life. Really , I have no idea why life got in the way between you and me ..

I have considered myself nothing but a non-living thing in this post and that’s because that’s what I am without you .

One of those dolls who only used to come alive when touched on the heart or kissed on the cheek or tapped on the feet or when braided or when fed or flicked on the head ..

If there is any humanity/love left across this planet , God will have to get him to me . If he actually wants me to come back to life . If my life holds any value at all . If he wants me to be me , he will have to take steps back already closer to me .. if I ever loved him at all , he will just have to! If there was the slightest of honesty in what I felt for him , he will show up from somewhere , don’t know where from exactly but he will.

Turn those keys around so that I can start clapping again R!

Sober me up to your high!

Wake me up to your dreams!

Fix your doll up!

Even dolls have souls!!!

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