The Invisible Tie

Like all the men who claim to be sophisticated in this world, some of which are and some of whom who are not , what makes them so different from the other men? Should the way they dress in their Tom Ford’s and drive massively expensive cars with their extravagant style of living come together to get them laid? be applauded for ? What exactly is sophistication ??? Are we born with a tag of being so? Because i feel it to be a matter of upbringing no matter the rest of the views. Are the souls of such men also branded ?? Do such souls even smell great because they are wearing a Hermes perfume ?? Well according to me the heart of a men is the best scent for their souls! So who brought in this partiality ??? Why do we encounter men with great hearts, weighing a perfect soul inside them in contrary to the branded ones ? Have we become such hippocratic people that we prefer a branded soul to get laid to or married to ??? Do we prefer souls with a tux over the most magnificently casual ones? Are we being fair to ourselves ???? Why is it that in this world where you are so lucky to have all the sights to technology to heal every sight and look better/clearer, the most important thing seems to be such a blur? Is our vision lost ??? Can no one heal it ???? Why cant any one of us be a “tie-breaker.”

My man is just slightly different. He is not here nor there! I don’t see him in a tux, nor do i wish to see him so. But he is not under the category of a casual one either. I see a third breed all together. I see his soul in a tie! A tie which is not visible to everyone but me! The tie thats pulling me closer to that of his soul everyday. Its just hanging in there, holding his soul dam straight. Its so amazingly carved around his neck and does its work so faultlessly that I sometimes wonder that if that tie gets apparent to all, he might get in a trouble of  being researched over ! It gets me wonder, he wants it all, and by all i mean, all the love, all the care, all the attention, all the time, all the money and i know that all of you might wonder that what is so different about it. Every man is thriving for all this! Then what is so different? The difference is in the embroidery, the design of the tie. He wants all this like just another man but why is the question! He doesn’t want all of this for himself. Not a thing! He wants all this for me . For US! His single tie and our two souls is the only sole (motive) to fight for. I know that yet again you might wonder that there are shit loads of selfless people out there who want everything so what is it ? What is exactly is it that this soul is different from the rest ? Answer ??? In the times where the tie lets him lose with his confidence, in the times where the tie chokes him, in the times where it becomes a hinge trying its best to kill him, i see everyone giving up sometime or the other but he doesn’t end up giving up on any of the life’s principles. I don’t understand but for a man who is not having a top-notch luxurious Burberry soul still be the most expensive one of all! I’m not saying that all the luxurious souls are that mean, not claiming anything but an observation.

Haven’t gotten to the best part yet, i see a transformation in my soul every now and then, becoming not equally but closer to perfect every day in his absence. How he has tied his tie that has tied his soul to that of mine. How exquisitely he was handling my soul all these years is something i will never know but now it smells like that of him, no covering but just the way it came to this world. He has transformed my labelled soul into the most normal one and i couldn’t be happier. I have never felt so alive. On how being in the middle of all such variably different souls, i feel like mine is the most simple one. No complications.

This post is just the smallest attempt to make all of you get closer to life in real and not materialistic side of it.!!

I pray for all you beautiful souls everyday.




Masking E̶m̶o̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ Pleasures

In the world where the total population of 2017 (April) was estimated to be 7,500,000,000. This would mean that there are 7.5 billion types of different souls living across this whole world suppressing there emotions pleasures at least for a some amount of years in their lives. I on the other hand along with the strike through emotions collaborated with the basic pleasures a body needs from time to time to make the situation and living worst for myself. The soul got trapped between the both of them and it hasn’t able to breathe from the past 15 years . My body regime, my emotions have been so uptight all this time! Two reasons for that.! My basic principle to do the obvious after marriage so that explains the frustration and my emotional side because no one out of this 7.5 billion individuals had the nerve to do so. Why did i always encounter guys who only wanted pleasure in exchange of my emotions???? Was there something so indefinitely wrong in me? Have i been really a shame to my soul ???? How has my soul breathed a fresh air ever? Well, that explains the smoke!!!! All hopes done and down, i was so absent about what my own mind/body/soul needed all these years, decided to be perfectly okay even if what is required to keep increasing the above mentioned population is NOT EVER DONE!!!!!!!

*Enters a man in my life* holding not really the same but kind of on the same page definition. I had finally met an individual i can trust all of my emotions, my fears, my hopes and aspirations with until i came across HIS TOUCH!!! It was for the first time ever my soul was welcomed on this planet. For the first time, a drug had infected me in such a way that a max of 10 blinks, and i was addicted to it. I wanted that touch to keep me alive. How often does one expect to come across such an individual in this world where everything is planned. How that touch became my home, i had no idea. Each and everywhere where they moved, it felt like they have started to pump blood on the right places, while my soul was turning pale, it came back to life! Like it was getting the right amount of water! Remember??? When the lips got closer, it was like i was started being loved by two people , him and my soul. He from the outside, soul from the inside! Things kept getting intimate and i have no idea when our souls swapped! It felt right , like nothing has before and thats when i understood that my soul wasn’t trying to love me from in there but it was trying to enter his body! Natural process isn’t it?? Then why??? Why couldn’t i ever spill about it even though it came into action 5 years after the relationship but there was never an urge! The touch did its work all right and so did the lips. I understood that there is no such thing as a good kisser after i had done it with him. It was clear that very instant that the more you like the person, the more you will fall in love with the way he kisses. It was like a current generated in my soul and i thought that either it will lead to the world beginning or the end of the world as spiced up in my head but it was nothing but completely normal. So all the fuss for nothing. I felt like the luckiest soul to have done it with the person i am hoping to get married but this post is specially for the beautiful and trapped souls out there who still hold this thinking and if you feel like it is effecting your bodies, and hence playing with your emotions then stop! I know it now and there is no harm as long as you don’t end up transferring souls across the town!

But now ? Now what??? Where does the need go now???? where is the urge?????? Why am i being so vulnerable to just hug him right now ????? Why can’t i see absolutely no control over my body????? Is it normal???? Is it really sick of my soul to cry out so heavily right now like there is no space??????? How crazy do u think it is to hold on to the crappy emotions right now even though my soul wants to crawl to him!!!!! How can i let him know though? What if he is busy! Why is it that emotions always come in the way of pleasure ? Can’t we work without them ????? Are our souls so sacred that they only want that one drug???? Is it the souls in our body that give rise to both emotions and pleasure??? Who wins??? Is it emotions for women and pleasure for men?? Is it so because women usually think from the left side of the brain because thats the emotional one and men think from the right side because thats the logical one??? What does the soul do when the brain functions? Oh wait, some other color maybe! Because souls have variety of colors so probably soul is just so blah color at the time. But when soul has this urge, how does it happen to control the streak????


Start taking the steps back already will you!? High time don’t you think? You are my high! Don’t you get it ? Drug me! My soul is infectious to you.

Let the wait be over!!!!!!!!


4.33 am : no sleep : soul awaits


The Multi-colored Soul

Every day as they say is a new day. Every night that’s gone is bygone and every hour between this day and this night should be cherished to the fullest. But why do the souls transform with such days turning into nights? I mean how can one modify their inner self that often?? If last night was the greatest of all, how is that supposed to be forgotten the very next morning? I mean come on now, we were asleep!not dead.!!! Why are we taught and expected to bring such humongous changes in us that are humanly just not possible??? Do they really expect our souls to be extinct for those couple of hours (i.e. from the perfect nigh to the morning that followed it)?? Is the pressure of expectations so ponderous that even our souls can’t take it because according to me, souls are the most innocent and the strongest part of any human being. They are the ones who are at the minimal contact with the outside world and yet they control us! So this means that they are like new borns but they are supposed to change with every situation that comes along their way (since they are strong at the same time) that is obviously going to last for days or hours or minutes or even less than that for crying out loud!!! CONCLUSION: NEW BORNS WITH EXPECTATIONS!!! Are we loathing our lives on such a gentle system that has to keep converting into a brand new mechanism every now and then????? IMAGINE!!!!! This is the reason why one just can’t ever be constant. I understand that changes are important in life to scoop out the monotony but is it necessary that we keep changing with it too?? Why do we have to torture our souls to go through all the drama that happens 24 hours a day??? Why is it that we have made our souls so habitual to it that it seems impossible to find a way out of it ????????

I myself out here am a victim of it. I think every one of us at the same time across the world have only one thing in common and its the thinking of the fact that “we like to do things that make us happy.” Then why ? why and when does a simple sentence like this gets to be so hard? Have we accepted the fact that we always have to go through a rough patch in order to be happy?? Because happiness can’t be achieved until one is the saddest? What makes our souls in a dreadful/clumsy/annoying day to cheer up in one go ??? Who brings in these change of colors! I mean has this ever happened to you that this one second you were feeling like you are at a REHAB and the very next second its like boom! DISNEYLAND!!!! Who brings this change from off to on in our soul-arr-system??? Or sometime during the day you are this shit scared , locked in a dark room of your brain and you see this light from outside the window and faith in life is regained within a millisecond???? Or sometimes you want to cry so hard , its like you wanna die but then you get the best reason in front of you that makes you feel like you are going to die laughing???? That reason from me is about 7,291 miles apart ! The reason to my Disneyland, to my laughter, to my happy colors, to my happy soul. He is out there thriving for a second of “our happiness” to be accomplished. For our souls to have just the right color of love. But how can i express as to how hard is it to hold on to myself in the world where the only way to live is to let your soul live under the million shades of grey of expectations of judgements and no peace whatsoever. Its like my soul is inhaling all the colors of pollution and my environment friendly soul is scratching them all out . He is like my 911 number to save my soul when it gets on fire. I wish the collision of our souls in no time….. my soul master!

Come back now. With all the colors of love and fill my soul up with with the perfect red on my forehead!!!


Every time I miss you, my heart cracks a little!! </3

Why is the “soul” the most sacred place of all?? Why is it that i wanna store you right in it (i.e. soul) for decades to come??? Why do i want our souls to live even after we die???? irony right ?!!!! Why cant they live forever?? They are not the ones to commit any sins! They never do nothing wrong! The body does and the soul follows… but then why is the soul the very first air to leave??? Is it behind the bars being punished for something it did not do ???? Is it not gratified in there ???? Am i back to square one??? I guess yes. It only gets happy when its walking with the right soul on the right path at the right time. SUDDEN REALIZATION : Is the soul, throughout our lifetime, fighting inside our bodies in order to set themselves free? Does it really want the freedom that bad ??????????????? Have we forcefully tied it down with our bodies when they really don’t wanna be tied down? Are we sick????????

Oh wait, now i know! Does the heart want what the soul wants??? Is it true that both of them have a mutual understanding?????? Is the real can of worms in our soul and not our hearts? So when the soul mourns , the heart breaks, when the soul feels like touched, the heart beats like it never has before, when the soul is scared, the heart beats in a way that it wants to leave the body too, when the soul feels nothing at all, is that the point when you feel like the heart is numb, are the heart and soul having a plan ?? Are they playing with our brains??? So wait, this explains each and every crack in my heart, this explains how much pain my soul is going through every dam second of every day! Another thought! Are the diseases caused by lack of love? and not alcohol and cigarettes, are we puppets of our soul?? Probably yes, and i think that that’s exactly why every minute second of my life now is getting deteriorated. I MISS YOU! I miss like there’s no tomorrow and my soul is getting weaker. Its bringing a pain out in my heart. Both of them are together pinching me and its like thousands of corns and coming together hitting my soul causing a pain in my heart which can only be cured by a simple touch of yours. Come ! Just come already and embrace me like i’m the only girl in this world. Set my soul free with that of yours. Let our hearts beat together for once now. Lets make it all one! Lets not crib about the small things in life! lets compile them all to make it big. I want to touch you to fix my heart , each and every crack will be fixed as you slide your fingers through the pain growing in my body and let the cured heart in turn fix the broken soul in my body!!!!!!

Be the drug i want you to be. We can really live without the money. I can beg with you on the streets with you and make love to you right there without complaining!!! Hold me close. Just like you always have but just never let me go this time.

Let the soul’s be back to where they belonged. Come closer so that this distance can get shorter. Let me look in those eyes . Why don’t you????? Money WILL NOT be buried in the soil with our bodies but the time will if we waste it.

I love you

I miss you , and shit! My heart….. It again….. just cracked a little!!!!

No Direction, Craves for Destiny!

The soul! It is the purest form of every individual, it is always true to you so basically it knows all that you want more than you think you do and you are tied to it for life , once it departs, thats where one loses their existence. But how does one feel its presence? Just like air, you can’t touch it or observe it. The only way to know that its their within you is when another existing soul comes in contact with it, you can literally feel it unless it ends up becoming so powerful that you can feel it fighting.. fighting so hard to come out of your body with all the force to correspond with this extraordinary one of a kind another individual’s soul. Its like when nature begins to talk, it has different forms to portray its moods.. the winds, the storm, the rain, the heat, the hail, the snow and exactly like that a soul tends to do the same. Just like the air, it encompasses this entire feeling inside you in one go and does magic in several ways which is beyond anyone’s imagination. According to me its the most incredible feeling ever. Like it’s the closest route to heaven. But now the question arises that (talking about relationships here) , when people are so self-involved, engrossed, narcissistic these days, how do they end up nurturing the beautiful soul residing in them?? For me , the answer would be that they start looking for someone who can do this task for them! Well, and isn’t that the reason why people refer to a couple getting married their respective “soul mates?” But is that enough? Does getting married fixes it all ? No way. I think that one could never go more wrong if they hold this thinking. The only thing any soul in this whole-wide-world requires is love. A very simple kind of love! Marriage or no marriage, you start living in with a person or you don’t, you speak to them all day or you don’t , you live in a long distance relationship or you don’t . One thing that keeps that soul going is love. Its like a plant that needs regular watering or it could die but its only possible when a gardner can treat it like as if its his own, that’s where you know how beautiful you end up being and how in one go you will end up increasing your life span!

Hello to all, this is my first blog after being perplexed for a really long time if i should or should not write it all, i don’t think that i could’ve ever ended up finding a better time than this. Reason??? My soul is taken. It is taken in a way that it will never ever be returned now but the one who has it is miles away from me and i feel like a body which is so hollow, so lashed out, so petrified, its like all the nerves in my body are so out of control that they are punishing me for doing this to them. My own soul is not fond of me anymore, it craves for a soul out of my body to process. MY DESTINY!!! It’s screaming so bad that i’m scared to lose it. I’m sorry did i mention the amount of time i have been away? Not a couple or years, not months, not days, not even 20 bloody 4 hours and i feel dehydrated and trust me, I wish alcohol had something to do with it. Agghhhrrr!!!! So I met him exactly 5 years, 6 months and 18 days ago when we started it off as a fling (mutually) with an expiry date. How did i ever know that a something this immature will lead to something so massive that it would be out of the reach to be stopped by any individual on this planet earth???? how something so unlooked for, unhoped for, unanticipated, end up becoming my sole motive to live and be able to write this????? I promised myself to be fierce, after all the reason why he had to go in the first place was to make our future, a bright future. Did i mention that i belonged to a typical indian rich class of family who permits you to buy anything, and by anything, i mean any dam thing but not love someone who is a class or two below you! I’m not sorry that i opted to go against this caste system because this is not how God created us. We were only meant to be loved from the very second that we were born. So yes, i have been ditching my family all this time but was i really that wrong to do this to them??? I know that money is important because all the importance i have grasped in it so far are divorces (one that of my own brother), family feuds/separation, separation of a decades of love and affection, neglected health issues, how is it like being emotionally drained, first the fight to earn it and the to equally divide it ! Being in a joint family , coming across a dozen marriages, not one is even close to a happy one. All my life! So what that it got me to into fancy cars, a big house, branded clothes, it never got me happiness. I had to pay a big amount for that^^. Choosing another path to save my life was never wrong. But today i failed a little bit, because he left. I could never confirm him our marriage because either my family would’ve killed him or me or themselves and how could i afford to lose any of it. After all i do love my family a lot. Its just the generation gap that got me fucked straight up in the ass. And what has been the role of my soul in all this ?? It only and only got attracted to his. Dated like a 100 men but his was the one that i could worship. Its like i did not even know if my soul existed 5 years 6 months and 18 days back!!! Its ever since then that it came to action, that i still had life somewhere between all the fuss. So after no sleep from the past 72 hours and me and my soul still very much awake, he will be landing shortly and the irony of the matter is that i don’t have any idea where is it going to take us, i feel completely lost right now but i still do aspire for our destiny! Till eternity…..